Bron in the Basque Country: The 7 deadly Zumba stereotypes

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We’ve made it.

Abbie and I have finally made it to the regular’s side of the Zumba class. We’re basically professionals (although if you ask me my left from my right I still have to hold my hands up like a small child).

To celebrate, I’m going to try something new and write a listicle. If you want to keep fit but aren’t committed to running or using scary machines, then something like a Zumba class is perfect if you want to have some fun while burning calories. Also, if you study at Chester, in Northgate Gym you dance with glow sticks. I’m just saying.

In the true spirit of memes, tag yourself. This is not a serious post by any means.

  1. Hips McGee

This person has hips and they definitely do not lie. They put their heart and soul into it and if they were in Strictly Come Dancing they would definitely get a fab-u-lous from Craig Revel-Horwood. They normally position themselves at the front of the regular’s side, and they will definitely be checking out their jazzy shapes in the mirror. They’re living their best life that’s for sure.

  1. The Shouter

Another regular just staying true to themselves, but they also make sure everyone else knows too. They start the chorus of heys and are probably singing along in general. This special snowflake will also loudly exclaim every time there’s a move that involves hip moves or anything provocative, as if it’s a shock that we humans have hips in the first place. It’s nice to see some enthusiasm.

  1. La Persona Seria

This person could be a regular, or a high day and holiday Zumba person, but no one would tell because this person is concentrating so hard and trying to mimic exactly what the instructor is doing. They probably should remember that it’s half four on a random Monday and not the Olympics, but they’re trying really hard, and that’s okay.

  1. The one just doing their own thing

Who knows what they’re doing, but it’s usually not what the instructor is doing. Maybe they can’t work out the move but want to burn calories, so they try an easier alternative. Maybe they want to lead the class themselves. Maybe they’re in their own little dance bubble. No one will ever know.

  1. Little Miss Lazy

It’s almost as if they don’t want to be there. Everything is half hearted, and it looks like it’s effort to even step from side to side. Even people like The Shouter cannot encourage them, as they probably think that’s too cringy. They are not living their best life.

  1. The one with the lag

This person knows that you’re supposed to slide in a certain direction at a certain point, but any changes will completely ruin them. It’s almost as if they’re in a time machine with a 3 second delay, or they’re participating via Skype. They’ll catch up eventually, when they crash into a disgruntled regular and the guilt snaps them into action.

  1. The Backstreet Bois

These are probably students, or a group of people wondering what the fuss is all about. They normally hide at the back of the room and look in wonder as the regulars look vaguely in sync. They are having fun, but they’re probably confused. It’s okay though because they’re all in this together.

I’m definitely a number 6 without a doubt but hopefully, one day, I can be a number 1.


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