Fourth year is like a bizarre reunion. Everyone is back after a year in their own respective regions, doing their own respective things. Everyone is the same, but also everyone has changed.
I have noticed how, although I was never unlike myself before, I’ve never felt more me. Introducing myself this year in Spain as someone who has already established who they are is not the same as the fresher introducing themselves in University, when they still have time to grow.
Not that my time is running out to develop, but also, I think I know me now- or at least I know me better than I ever have before.
I started lectures yesterday and we all instantly picked up on how much easier it was to speak Spanish. Although I’m still not completely confident in my Spanish ability, I was able to speak up in class and fully articulate my point… which is actually something I’ve never properly done in class outside of an assessment. I didn’t truly notice until we all went around the class to speak, and we were all FINE. I don’t think I was the only one who was pleasantly surprised.
My other lecture was like putting on your favourite jumper when it’s cold, because it was about books, and I adore them. That lecture was the true familiarity I had been craving since I have returned. Things have changed, classrooms have changed, but I will always be able to talk about books.
Adjusting will take no time, I’m sure. I already have deadlines, the reading is starting to pile up and I tried out another new society last night to fill up my future Tuesday evenings. The point I’m trying to make is: Although it feels almost like going back to square one, we are more than capable of slotting back into lectures like we never left.
Maybe, we’re back to square four.